Every year I take a group of dancers to a wonderful dance convention/competition called Dancemakers Inc. Local dance studios gather at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville to give their students an opportunity to take class from master teachers and to have their dances adjudicated by dance professionals.  Several years ago before I owned Ann Carroll School of Dance, I was walking through the hotel after the competition and I encountered a local dance studio owner, Ms. Tracy surrounded by her dancers and parents. She was congratulating them on a great performance and reminding them to thank their parents and to clean up after themselves in the dressing room.  I felt a pang in my chest, a yearning.  I didn’t understand.  Just a few minutes before I was walking to my car feeling quite proud of myself and the the dancers at our studio and now all of a sudden I felt unworthy and sad.  I had a great job as co-artistic director of the studio, lots of talented dancers and parents that respected me.  What more could I want?  And then I realized;  I was jealous.  It was in that jealous moment that I finally understood my great desire- I wanted my own dance studio.  Even though I had a great deal of say over what happened at the studio, it still wasn’t mine.  I was supporting a community of dance families that was created without me.  I would never be able to create my own studio culture without having my own studio.  From that moment on, without knowing how this dream would come to fruition, I worked hard in the direction of my goal.

Jealousy is usually considered a negative emotion, something that we should suppress, or worse yet not feel at all.  I believe that jealousy is the universe’s way of nudging us towards our dreams.  How can you get where you want to be without knowing what you want?  When we are jealous of someone, we have the opportunity to recognize a desire in ourselves.  Perhaps its something that you didn’t even know was possible to have or maybe it was something that you didn’t even know you wanted.  I wanted my own studio but it wasn’t until I felt jealous of Ms. Tracy that I truly acknowledged it.

Now jealousy can be used for good or evil.  When jealous feelings cause you to treat another person poorly or make you feel bad about yourself, you are missing the point.  You are allowing yourself to be and act small and to only see what is right in front of you.  I try to teach my students to see the big picture.  Get a broader view.  If Susie can have that, then you can too. Success isn’t just available to one person, it is available to all of us.  If you are jealous because someone in your class is always in the front row or one of your friends made a company that you didn’t, be happy because now you know what you want.  With hard work and determination you can achieve these things! And even if you don’t get exactly what you want, one thing is for sure, you’ll get better.

Your dreams may not present themselves the way in which you see them (hence, there is not a Laura Carroll School of Dance!) but they will present themselves the way they are meant to be.  So the next time the little green monster hops on your shoulder, look at him and smile.  He may just be pointing you towards the greatest journey of your life.